Grief is like a moving river

"Grief is like a moving river, it's always changing. I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone."    ~Michelle Williams

We often feel awkward when someone shares a memorial post about missing someone they have lost because we just don't know what is the right thing to say, or even not to say. Our culture doesn't make it easy for the one who misses their loved ones. Most are afraid to express it, thinking it's a weakness because they should have "got over" by now. There is just NO getting over. Someone said it beautifully that there is no solution or elixir for the pain. There is no going back in time. For as long as I breathe, I will grieve and ache with all my heart and soul. Isn't that so true? If you have loved someone, only you will understand the depth and breath of that emotion. No one can tell you if that is right or wrong because they are not you.

I can't tell you how many times where I won't think about the man who had promised to grow old with me, and the loss of a future to be able to laugh or even look back at how far we have grown with each other, and about the things or activities as we become aware of what aging does. Aging with a loved one is not to be feared but a privilege. So, for all who are blessed to have your other half aging alongside with you, have a new perspective and savour every moment of it! 

I sure miss having the opportunity to see Ben age and loving every thing about it. Everything that was special and uniquely him that I love was the same strand that made my heart hurt. In the same place where that hurt lies, it also becomes beauty in the light of love. Remembering Ben is no longer a pain but a joy for the remarkable and amazing person that doesn't end just because he now has a new address in heaven. A quote by Mitch Albom, "Death ends a life, not a relationship." I believe that and I think of hope in the afterlife. An eternal place of love untouched by sin, pain, time, or death. A place where all the people I have ever loved who has gone ahead of me will come greet me with great cheer and rejoicing when my work and time on earth is done. 

So, never be afraid to remember how special your loved ones are. They will never forget how special you are, so why should you?

fl